To my newest and last baby.

Today, on this Mother’s Day, I wanted to tell you how much of a gift you have been to me. You are a breath of fresh air and a lighthouse in a dark, vast ocean trying to swallow me during a treacherous storm; giving me focus, hope, and a light to steady and remind me that I can make it another day at sea. In fifteen years, you will probably hate my guts but, until then, I will hold on to this life preserver that you’ve thrown to me, your exhausted and anxious, uncertain mother.

Your sweet baby coos and easy smiles melt my heart and reenergize my soul. Even at 2am when I have to drag myself out of bed to respond to your gentle cries of hunger and sobs of loneliness.

You are constant reminder of how fast time is flying. As if it’s grown wings and taken us on the ride of our lives. We’ve so quickly gone from baby swings and boppy pillows to bike riding and t-ball mitts. And soon, braids and baby dolls. I breathe in your awesome, sweet new smell. And ruffle the thick blonde hair of your confident and energetic big brothers as they hug me with all of their might.

It’s taken me a little while to get here. Each of you has taught me something more about myself. You’ve taught me that I am strong. Fearless. Beautiful. Able. Loving. Creative. Wonderful. It’s hard to believe, most days. But I see it in your eyes. And you give me the breath I need to keep going.

I am grateful to you, my beautiful babies, for choosing me as your mother. You have been the most wonderful gifts I could ever receive in a lifetime.

Happy Mother’s Day to us.

Love, your mama.